Ek kavita .........Bikhri si.

Kuch likh du to dil ka gubaar hat jaaye
yaa phir kuch keh ke chup ho jaoo
kabhi ....dono ke saath hi chupchap baitha rahoo
aur dekhta rahoon tamasha

Saari bikhrati hui cheejo ka
JO jeene ke liye jaroori na hoker bhi bas aise hi
jeeye ja rehi hain

Kya karoon us sapne ka jo
Her waqt meri aakhon mein rehta hain
kahan phek aao use .......kahin door
Jo kabhi uth ker pairon se vapas naa aa sake

Ghar pe mere paas sab kuch hain
Ek kamra aur kuch deewarein hain
jinhe main apna kahne ka kiraya deta hoon

Mera apna shaher bhi hain
Jise main bhut chahta hoon
per suna hain maine ki ye shaher kabhi kisi ko
nahi chahta......

Kuch khabar sun li to dil dahel jaata hain
apni umer ka her hissa dhudhla najar ata hain
kuch tukda bikhra aur kuch kerine se saja hua

kitaabon ke panne reh reh ke ulajhte hain
kuch pal jo khayal se the unhe
yunhi kahin daba ke gumshuda sa ker diya
aur bikhri si jindagi ab bhi kagaj per ................

My job experience

Whenever it comes to say something about my job, I get a very difficult situation. Before jumping to any conclusion let me tell you that I work in a BPO as a technician. I dont know that how much tech savvy I am but my trainer & others think that yes I am a good. I did a course from NIIT, which has no means for me but I waisted my precious money on that course so thats why I always consider that. I did a plain BA with arts subject & have an interest in Arts subject.

After completing my graduation by any how, I tried for few jobs but that was more tougher than cracking any entrance examination like an MBA from any C grade college. I started working with CRY as a volunteer but that was not enough for my bread & butter. That was not actually with CRY, its an association with a company. So I work for that company. Finally I left them & got a chance in a call center, which sells sexual enhancement drugs in US. That whole concept seems very odd to myself but I worked with because I was out of money. I dint made a single sale while working with them. By any how I got my salary from them & I left that place. I was again in darkness & loosing that money which I got from them. So by any how I got another job so thats not much important here,leave it here.

Lets come to job again........as I told you earlier that I have an interest in arts subject so I started reading books when I am free from my job. I have also written few baseless poems which seems very subjective to me but not others. They never understand me by my poems. Initially I was very fascinated while working in night shifts but gradually I realize that its not a fun, but no other option left for me so I continue.

The most embarrassing & painfull time comes when I leave my office. While coming from Gurgaon to Delhi, everyday we use the same way which comes from Motibagh to Shantipath. I would like to say here that its the best Road in Delhi, no traffic, no pollution & no carp around you. I feel very much dejection while crossing those road. When I see yellow flowers on tress specially Shirish(its a Hindi name for that tree & I dont know what we call them), I cant explain that situation here. I have no words for that. Feelings were a mix up kind of thing.......& it gave me pleasure & sorrow both at the same time so I dont know how to say that. I like them a lot but hate them for being there. Akbar road & Congress Office, the entire place get covered with those flower. Finally the road ends somewhere I reach to my place, now that comes the toughest part of the day.

My home, people say its a nice place but when I enter there, my god I dont want to live anymore because my friends have left for their offices & I am coming from office. Mostly my mind had a very truthful fight with me & I always make him win because he can win only, but I have to live with it. I think regularly that what I am doing, I suppose to leave it & or just adjust with these situations. My god , my heart was about to burst when I think & after a long night shift, my eyes are not sleepy. Everyday I think, I need to do something for my self but I dint do anything for me. I tried to complete my PG course but dint get admission in DU for the subjects which I want. I still have that desire that one day I would do that course & then my life get change. But I know its a desire not a believe. I have written my feelings in my Diary & when I need to meet myself, I read them.

Now I try to sleep because I never want to get drowsy in my office. I hate that when people complain that they feel very sleepy in office. I never felt that but yes most of the time I get small naps. Small naps will always help us while working in night shift so I would recommend for other who work in odd times. When I go to bed, I feel very awkward & I hate to sleep but same here no option left so I give a try to it. Most of the time I failed but still I try. I am still trying for that because I am writing this after my shift but no sleep. It has been more than three years & I am still trying for this. I met so may people & with few of them I had a very good relationship. Most of them are not with me but their memories have been cherished in my mind so I am not sad.